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We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Blog for the Following "Important" Announcement . . .

 
 
Top Ten Winners of the "McCain '08 Slogan Contest" broken down by target demographic:
 
 
10.  For Liberals:  "McCain '08--Limbaugh Hates Him.  That's Not Enough?"
 
9.  For "Moderates":  "McCain '08--You Guys Got Him Nominated, Now Show Some Loyalty!"
 
8.  For Left-Wing Moonbats:  "McCain '08--He Hates Dubya Even More Than YOU do!"
 
7.  For Hispanics:  "Juan McCain '08--La Casa Blanca Para Usted!  Viva La Reconquista!"
 
6.  For Internationalists:  "McCain '08--He Was For the U.N., Before He Was Against It!"
 
5.  For Asians:  "McCain '08--Sure He Call You 'Gooks,' but C'mon, Who Doesn't?"
 
4.  For Wavering White Obama Supporters, Struggling with their Guilt:  "McCain '08--Sure, Barack's Rhetoric is Soaring, and the Dumbo Ears are Kinda Cute, but Stop Lying, You Were Never Actually Gonna VOTE for the Guy!"
 
3.  Jeremiah Wright Parishoners:  "McCain '08--He's as Angry as You Are!"
 
2.  DNC Members:  "McCain '08--'Crossing the Aisle' Since South Carolina 2000!"
 
*****
 
And the WINNER of the McCain '08 Slogan Contest, targeting conservatives, is:
 
1.  "What the Hell?  You're Screw*d Anyway . . ."
 
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Obama, Obama, Obama . . . Sigh (and You Were Doing so Well)!

 
Back on my wife's birthday in early February, I predicted that Barack Hussein Obama would be the next President of these still-glorious United States.
 
This was a prediction, mind you, not a wish. 
 
(Similarly, Bush and Cheney didn't actually want Katrina to hit New Orleans, either--although of course once it did, Cheney and his faulty shotgun made a bee-line down there to blow up the levees, at least according to Calypso Louie Farrakhan).
 
Not to brag, but I have successfully "called" every election since 1980, at least one week before election day.  My greatest "triumph" in this regard was calling 1992 for Clinton after he came in SECOND in the NH Democrat primary.  (Like I said, it's a matter of prediction, not my heart's desire . . .) 
 
So I'm going to stick with my prediction of a Barry Silvertongue presidency, but he is giving me reason for pause.  Obama has jumped the rails in the aftermath of his non-racial racial speech.  He is really blowing it.
 
First, of course, he threw his grandmother--the woman who cared for him like a mother--under the bus, when he called her a racist.  That of course angered a great many people, notably a lot of women who understand the sacrifices that Barry's grandmother made for him.
 
By trashing his grandmother once, he projected ingratitude, disloyalty, and a thoroughgoing callousness.  Not exactly the "Mr. Nice" image that he has thus far successfully cultivated.
 
That wasn't enough, though.  His subsequent remark that his grandmother was a "typical white person" may well have tanked his candidacy.  It is hard to believe that Mr. Post-Racial could have been so thoroughly tone deaf on the same issue, twice. 
 
So by trashing her again, he has explicitly re-branded himself as the candidate of race.  In other words, he is now little more than a slight upgrade from racial hucksters like the "Reverends" Sharpton and Jackson.
 
Bad move, Barry.
 
But at least I won't be disappointed if I'm wrong this time.
 
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My Suggestion for McCain's General Election Slogan

I've been having a lot of fun reading (and bashing) the "RINO-grams" (as one brilliant wag named "Chuck"--I think--referred to them) of one Peter J. Wirs, right here on Townhall. 
 
Every week or so, this hack for the new management of the GOP machine lets us know about things like the RNC's new oxymoronic (or maybe simply "moronic") "grassroots software," and some kind of October surprise "Stealth Bomber" that we conservatives are supposed to pony up for, as well as all kinds of gee-whiz gadgetry that he claims will lead to a GOP landslide in November.
 
He's right about the landslide, of course.  The only problem is that--if McCain wins--conservatism will be buried underneath it.
 
All of this gave me an idea for what I think is the perfect slogan for McCain's general election campaign.  It combines his over-blown sense of self-importance with his simmering, barely concealed contempt for Ronaldus Magnus (and indeed for all conservatives):
 
 
"Reagan's Dead.  Let's Bury Him.  McCain '08"
 
 
I'm thinking of having some buttons made . . . 
 
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The First Blogatorium Award for True Conservatism

I didn't touch on the Veepstakes in my last post, but I just found out that I've been beaten to the proverbial punch by another anti-McCainiac.
 
"The VP selection is all but meaningless. Would you marry a fat ugly hog just because the bridesmaid was a fox?"
 
Beautiful!!!  Sublime!!!  Pithy!!!
 
I just wish I'd written it!
 
Congrats to "Greg B, SD," whose comment has earned the first-ever, greatly coveted, much sought-after, Blogatorium "Seal of True Conservatism"!
 
Keep up the good work, Greg!  I'm right there with you!
 
***************************************************
The post entire post, and the relevant article, may be found at:

http://www.townhall.com/columnists/Column2.aspx?UrlTitle=mccain_must_resist_increasingly_surreal_hubris_of_gop_elites&ns=GreggJackson&dt=03/19/2008&page=full&comments=true&submitted=true09a04bf6-a89c-46f8-959d-0e9f65c74964
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To My Fellow Conservatives: If You Hate Yourself, Vote McCain!

 
Conservatives are suffering from a political variety of "battered spouse" syndrome.  Like a wife who has been subjected to years of emotional abuse by a loutish husband, we are so eager to avoid being yelled at by the GOP's new Poohbahs, that we're starting to fall in line.


Question:  Of the three remaining contenders for the Presidency, which one:

1.  Favors closing Gitmo;

2.  Favors giving Al Qaeda detainees full access to our legal system, including access to classified material to be used against them;

3.  Wants to grant amnesty to millions of illegal aliens;

4.  Believes that Justice Alito is "too conservative";

5.  Has a close advisor, Warren Rudman, who is responsible for Bush 41's disastrous appointment of Justice Souter;

6.  Has admitted that he has a weak grasp of basic economics;

7.  Regularly votes against his own party to "cross the aisle" and "work with" members of the opposition;


8.  Regularly curses at GOP Senators and others who do not toe his very narrow line?

  

All three qualify on 1-4, but 5-8 belong exclusively to "our" nominee:  "John McCain."



So, in some ways, McCain is even WORSE than Barack or Hillary!  (Don't worry; I don't exactly mean that.  Keep reading--more to follow.)

So, if you hate yourself, and you want to see conservatism permanently rebranded as "liberalism lite," by all means vote for the 71-year-old cancer survivor with anger management issues (and who calls Asians "gooks").

It seems that every day, another "conservative" pundit pops up like one of those "Whack-A-Moles" at Chuck E. Cheese's and spews some variant of the following (in between popping up and then ducking back down again):  "Only . . . an . . . idiot/traitor/liberal . . . would . . . refuse . . . to . . . vote . . . for . . .  John . . . McCain . . . and . . . if . . . Hillary! . . . or . . . Obama . . . gets . . . elected . . . it . . . will . . . be . . . your . . . fault . . ."

And darn it, they always duck down before I can whack 'em with that poofy mallet!

Conservatives need to realize that there has been a successful coup within the GOP.  The conservatives who effectively wrested control of the party from the blue blood, country club "Rockefeller Republicans" with the Goldwater nomination back in 1964, have just lost a battle for control of the party.  It was a good run, but it's over.  The GOP holds us in contempt, and will do even less for us now than at any time since the early 1960's.

Take a minute to let that sink in. 

Now does it make more sense that there were no true conservatives among this year's top contenders (no, not even Fred Thompson, who voted to acquit Bubba while in the Senate)?  Of course, of that weak field, arguably the least conservative candidate ended up being "our" nominee.
 
It should be no mystery.  That's exactly what you would expect from the party of Rockefeller and Nixon, two famously "moderate" GOP leaders.
 
The GOP is under new management, and they . . . hate . . . you.  They think that you're an ignoramus whose more concerned with ideology "purity" than with affecting policy.  It's not true, but it really is what "they" think.
 
And by "they" I mean McCain.

The base is upset, and rightly so, but we are told to meekly submit to our new masters, as they sit at the 19th hole unwinding after a long day of living off of their trust funds.  The country club, blue blood types are in charge now.  Rockefeller is in.  Reagan is out.



THE TOP TEN REASONS NOT TO VOTE FOR JOHN MCCAIN:

1.  Conservatism vs. Republicanism:  These are not the same; in fact, today they are very nearly opposites.  Conservatives stand for liberty, which means small government, low taxes, and minimal governmental intrusion.  The GOP has used the natural conservatism of the American people to gain power, and then outspend the Democrats.  With George W. Bush having rebranded (and in fact maligned) conservatism by adding the insulting and redundant "compassionate" modifer, conservatism is already on life support.  By supporting a RINO like McCain, you will be contributing to its death.



2.  Party "Loyalty":  McCain has stood with the Democrats more than with the GOP.  He has repeatedly sponsored legislation with Democrats, like the noxious McCain-Feingold law that violates the First Amendment (and which Bush cynically signed, wrongly believing that the Supreme Court would declare it unconstitutional).  So, now that this Senator who considered running as Kerry's VP, and almost bolted to the Dems twice, is "our" nominee, we're all supposed to bow in fealty?  If he has so often opposed his own party, and even considered supporting a Democrat Presidential candidate as his RUNNING MATE, why on earth should we conservatives feel any loyalty to him.


3.  Knives in the Back:  In the words of Alan Keyes, "There's not a single constituency of true conservatives that doesn't have one of John McCain's knives stickin' out of our backs."  If you hate yourself, by all means vote for someone who opposes what you stand for and has not been shy about making his contempt plain.


4.  Sense of Entitlement:  "You OWE McCain your vote!" say many on the "right" these days. 

No, I don't.  If he wants my vote, he can ask for it.  His last word on this subject was that he would not "pander" for conservative votes.

Bully for him.  Man of "principle" and all that.  He doesn't want conservatives' votes.  He said so himself.   So by what bizarre kind of logic can we be said to "owe" him the very votes he refuses to ask for???
 
It simply doesn't make . . . any . . . sense . . . at  . . . all.
 
To paraphrase Robert DeNiro in "Wag the Dog":  "They just haven't thought it through."


5.  Lawrence Eagleburger:  Recently represented McCain in Israel.  Described religious conservatives as "a serious problem."  I am a religious conservative.  Why would I vote for someone who consider me part of "a serious problem"?  It just doesn't make any sense.


6.  The Supremes:  "Well, at least McCain will appoint 'strict constructionist' Justices to the Supreme Court."

a.  No, he won't.  Why would he?  He's not a conservative.  If I were President, I wouldn't appoint liberals.  Why then would "our" centrist-leaning-liberal nominee appoint conservatives?  That just makes no sense.  In addition, one of his chief advisors--as already mentioned--is Warren Rudman, who duped Bush 41 into appointing David Souter.  By all accounts, Bush was actually trying to appoint someone who was at least slightly conservative.  Anyone think Souter is the slightest bit conservative.  In addition, also as already mentioned, McCain thinks that Alito is too conservative.

b.  Even if it tried to get a conservative through the Supreme Court, how hard do you think he would pressure the majority Democrats in the Senate (his "good friends," in the words of "our" nominee) to approve a judge in the mold of Scalia, Thomas, Roberts, or (gasp!) Alito.  Zero.  Zilch.  Zippo.  No chance at all.



7.  He refuses to "pander" for your vote.  In English, that means "F**k you!"--something he's yelled at his GOP "colleagues" more than once.  If he doesn't ask for it, why give it?


8.  McCain-Feingold and McCain-Kennedy.  The first one (which passed) means that your First Amendment rights are now "privileges," subject to governmental "oversight."  Being able to shut you up would have come in handy, had the second one--which would have legalized around 20 million illegal aliens--gone through.


9.  "If you don't vote for McCain, it will be YOUR fault if Hillary or Barack wins!"

No, it won't.  It will be McCain's fault for not attracting enough support.  Go away.

 (Let's see if those crossover Dems and moderates who earned McCain "our" nomination will support him in November.  If you believe that, I've got some Bear-Sterns stock I'd like to sell you . . . cheap!)



10.  The "Football":  Ask yourself:  "Do I REALLY want a septuagenarian cancer survivor with limited impulse control to have the ability to nuke the world out of existence in 22 minutes?"
 
I think you know the answer. . . .
 

In closing, I say once again that if you hate yourself, and want to see Reagan conservatism dead and buried, then vote for John McCain!  (Hey, that could be his new campaign slogan!  "Reagan's Dead!  Let's Bury Him!  Vote McCain!)

After all, with McCain, you get Hillary!’s charm and Barack’s modesty wrapped up in a cranky, bitter, condescending, 71-year-old, melanoma ridden package!

Yeah, great.  Sign me up. 

Now, I'm not going to follow the advice of my beloved St. Ann of Coultershire and pull the lever for Hillary! in November; nor do I recommend that any conservative do so. 

I do however IMPLORE my fellow conservatives not to buy the tired old "but other side is so much worse" line.

The sad truth is that, while a Clinton or (more likely) Obama presidency could well be "Jimmy Carter bad," it's the GOP's fault for letting it get this far.  We voted for Bush 41 (the quintessential "Rockefeller Republican") in 1988--and for Bush 43 twice (at least I did), despite some strong misgivings.  We did it because we bought that argument, and thought that things might actually get better if we just "went along."

Well, things didn't get better.  After seven years of Bush II, conservatism has lost the GOP and is in the process of being redefined.

So, here's the question you need to ask yourself:  "Am I first and foremost a conservative or a Republican?"  If you're a Republican first, then vote for the closet liberal with the "R" after his name. 

If you're a conservative, let the GOP see if they can win the White House without you.  If they can, then they were right; they really DON'T need us.  If they can't, we get another chance to bring true conservatism back to life.

That's our only shot; it's all we've got left.  We have let the GOP become the party of big government. To use the “12-Step” parlance, we have “enabled” them.


America needs conservatism; she also needs conservatives who are not blinded by an obsession with the letter "R," and who understand that it took Jimmy Carter to bring us Ronald Reagan.   
 
 
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The Dems' Racial/Gender Meltdown (Every Day is Christmas!)

I have been taking great delight in watching Barry Silvertongue and the Hillosaurus-Hex bury daggers in each other.  Hillybilly is better at it than Barack, but he's a quick study, and is especially adept at verbal ju-jitsu, as with his "If I'm not ready to answer the phone at 3 a.m., then why am I ready to be Hillary's Vice-President?"  Not exactly Clarence Darrow, but compared to Hillary!'s shrieking and cackling, and McCainiac's repeated, public failures at Anger Management 101, Mr. B. Hussein looks like a cross between Churchill and Ronaldus Magnus. 
 
I'm not particularly given to schadenfreude, but to see the Democrat party tear itself apart over race and gender is just too delicious.  They've been lecturing us racist, bigoted, misogynistic homophobes on the right for years, and now they're whining over being subjected to the same attacks, by each other!
 
Sometimes, when I just sit quietly and think about it, I start laughing and can't stop for a while.  If I didn't already believe in God, seeing those pompous, nattering nabobs of nanny-statism swinging overhead, caught in their own leg snares, would have brought me around.
 
Of particular note here is Geraldine "Not a Mafia Wife" Ferraro.  As a native New Yorker, I remember well the excitement generated by her nomination as Mondale's Veep back in 1984.  I scratched my head as the liberals all around me gushed about how this was going to be a watershed event--the first female VP.  I marveled at the naivete of such self-styled sophisticates.  Yes, indeed, how could the second fiddle to arguably the worst President ever lose when he had the help of a politically inexperienced radical feminist with Mafia ties? 
 
This was my first introduction to liberal "wish fulfillment" fantasies.  There was no way that ticket was going to win, and of course the left is still smarting 24 years later from the enormity of the Reagan landslide.  I was surprised only by the magnitude of the Mondale/Ferraro defeat, but many of the people around me were literally in shock.
 
This taught me one of my first important political lessons:  Liberals live in a fantasy world of their own making--populated by fairies with ladles full of NEA grants and money for midnight basketball, as well as conservative ogres who take candy from babies, before eating them.  So, quite naturally, liberals lash out like little children when the big, bad ogre keeps their wishes from coming true.
 
Every whining adolescent needs a "mean, nasty, stupid" parent to blame.  What's such a delight about the current racial/gender quagmire on the left is that they can't blame it on the ultimate dumb daddy, George W. Bush.  I can't remember the last time the political process gave me this much unadulterated joy!
 
Now Genial Gerry has been thrown under Hillary!'s bus for calling Obama, in effect, an affirmative action candidate.  Blacks, especially black women, are now bemoaning those "racist, white feminists," while Hillary! is defending herself from charges of racism!
 
How could it GET any better?  The liberals are hoisting each OTHER on their respective petards.  It is truly a joy to see.  An absolute marvel.
 
Every day I wake up, and it's Christmas all over again . . .
 
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